Category: Writers Block
She walks in the shadows, always alone, always at night.
Beneath a blackened sky, beneath the pale moonlight.
She is tall, and wears all black.
She feels as though there's no turning back.
Her hair, wich is as sofft as silk, falls past her waist.
She feels she's worth nothing, she thinks she's a disgrace.
If only she'd realize she has potential and purpose.
If only she'd realize the life she lives is worth it.
And yet she drains there blood, endulges in there flesh.
The men and women she gorges apon, seem to pay her debt.
I've seen her, night after night.
Some of them go willingly, while others try to fight.
But when she came apon me, I I didn't turn away.
I told her how I felt, and what I had to say.
I told her she had purpose, she wasn't an empty shell.
She was an angel that was a vampire, and not a beast from hell.
I told this mistress of death, that the blood of humans would not satisfy her debt.
Slowly, and surely, she began to trust.
She began to engdulge on animals for her rapid bloodlust.
Now she's my Rosalie, and I'm her Emmit!
Please note those names were twilight references.
That's pretty cool, dude. I notice you do a pretty good job on painting mind images. Awsome! It could be used for a black metal tune.
Pretty cute, well done. You're good at detail and keep a pretty steady reading rhythm for the most part. But watch your typos in spelling, and read aloud what you've written to make sure it flows comfortably - and please, go read an Anne Rice novel if you're interested in vampires. Or better yet, the original Dracula.
I've read several of her books and love them! I misspelled some stuff? Crap! Oh well. I just have this fascination with vampires, werewolves, and things like that.
Perhaps in the beginning you might be better off if you placed a disclaimer that said something along the lines of:
Disclaimer: I do not own twilight or the names that are in here referencing it.
perhaps give us more insight to your character.
I'm probably going to repost it later. Rewrite it and such.